the best things in life come in pairs
by Sayonara Solitaire
Summary: ONESHOT. “I told you I had no choice, the 8-tails owned my ass. I got a little dizzy and I was slightly hungry and her arm looked like a chicken leg, I swear.” SASUSAKU. — For Katie.


_**o n e **s h o t._**  
STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED.**

* * *

-

-  
**  
**the** best **things** in **life** come **in** pairs.**

-

-

* * *

**x**

**01.** Semi-Accompaniment/Somewhat Sequel thing to Katie's (dances.with.sunflowers.) "If You Play Your Cards Right" gift!fic for me.  
**02. **WARNING: OOCNESS, CRACK, IMPLIED INNUENDO, ETCETERA ETCETERA.  
**03.** Dedicated to said Katie. :) Happy Birthday!

**x**

He lifted the bundle of joy—no _joys_ into his arms.

A girl on his right.

A boy on his left.

And everything in that moment, felt so _right_.

Sasuke settled them down, _gently_, very gently as if, if he applied any more pressure, they'll break. So _fragile _and so _precious_.

His finger traced along his baby girl's soft cheeks. Tuffs of silky pink bristles tickled his fingertips and then the most astonishing thing happened - her eyes opened and revealed… the darkest onyx-coloured orbs one could see.

Just like his. She was _his_.

He saw his own charcoal orbs, reflecting back at him upon her opaque iris. Fascination and somewhat foreign warmth rushed through his entire being.

A coo interrupted his train of thoughts. Sasuke's own onyx darted onto his son's flushed visage, said son cooing…so adorably.

Midnight black and viridian shined back at him, so brilliantly as the baby boy's mouth gurgled a half-like giggle.

For the second time in his life since Sakura, his mouth broke into a grin. A genuine, filled with happiness thus freakishly eerie, _un-Sasuke-like_ grin.

Then his gaze landed on his exhausted wife. Her pink tresses fanned out along the white hospital pillow as drops of sweat lined her forehead. He made his way to wipe them with his sleeve.

Him and her. And now _he_ and _she_.

He caressed his wife's cheeks lovingly, he never felt so happy in all his lifetime until this moment—

"Let's name him Pinocchio,"

Almost.

"And her Rapunzel."

"No." He hissed.

"Come onnnnn…" She whined. Sakura definitely didn't look like a woman that was just out of labor mere minutes ago.

"I promised Ino. She named her son Peter Pan! Pinocchio and Peter Pan could be best friends!" And Sakura smiled, slyly. "Just like you and Naruto."

"No."

"Come onnnnnn…"

"I am _not_ naming the future heirs of the Uchiha Clan Pinocchio and Rapunzel, Sakura."

"Oh, so your mother's allowed to name you Sasuke _BAMBI_ Uchiha but I can't name our children Pinocchio and Rapunzel? That's not fair! WHERE'S MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH UCHIHA HUH?!"

"No—wait, WHAT?!"

"You heard me."

"My middle name is _not_ Bambi Sakura, and—aren't you just bitter I bit Karin instead of you during my midnight adventure across the country in search of my supposed murderous brother in which I've learned was not in the wrong but the elders of Konoha which left me bitter and dictator-y but decided to come back after said dictatorship and left pardoned because Tsunade didn't like them anyway and realized my undying love for you?"

"No." She huffed, crossing her arms while whipping her head toward the hospital room window.

"I told you I had no choice, the 8-tails owned my ass. I got a little dizzy and I was slightly hungry and her arm looked like a chicken leg, I swear."

The mood swings of a young couple.

"Yeah right! Then why did you say,_ 'You saved me…'_ oh-so-thankfully huh?_ HUH?!_ If I remember correctly, you were still emotionally retarded back then but apparently, SOMEONE knows to express his thanks. Oh I don't know…BY GIVING THEIR BROTHER MURDERING ACCOMPLICE AN _ORGASM_ HUH?!"

And the story took a turn into a new direction.

"Her overly exaggerated fangirl-esque retardation meltdown had nothing to do with me." He replied passively.

"I DON'T CARE YOU EMO BUTTHEAD!"

He was about to retort for the "Emo Butthead" remark when—

"Sasuke, I think you have a problem."

"Hn." _I am shocked speechless by your ridiculous statement so I'm settling for hning you._

"Oh, don't you 'hn' me! I really think you have a problem. Have you considered seeing a therapist after you came back from your 'hell hath no fury like an uchiha with a rhino up his ass I-must-destroy-Konoha scorned' stage?"

"Hn." _You are more ridiculous than Naruto, so HN you._

"Sasuke-kun, admitting you have a problem is the first stage to recovery."

"Hn." _Hn._

Sakura sighed dramatically.

The couple were so immerced in their "love quarrel", they completely forgotten about their children who didn't matter because they were sleeping soundly, _surprisingly_… and that one gay male nurse named "Coconut" in the corner, who was listening on intently while secretly taking snapshots of Sasuke's smexy ass.

"You've KISSED Naruto, BITTEN Karin because you thought her arm was a "honey garlic chicken leg with the skin side up", ELOPED with a wanted pedophile wannabe all the while SHOWING incestuous behavior towards your own murderous but HOT brother and you claimed you don't have a problem Sasuke?!"

"Hnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" _Error._

"Pftt, Uchihas indeed." Sakura commented before slumping back into the comforts of cushiony pillows.

It was then that a twisted thought crossed his mind. His dark bangs hid his eyes, a dark smirk made its way onto his lips. He lowered his face to when his cheek were millimeters away from Sakura's ear.

Sakura felt a cool breath breezing on the right side of her face and she couldn't help but shiver.

This led to Sasuke's smirk getting wider. "If you're _that_ jealous…" He sexily breathed.

"…then why don't I make it up to you _tonight_?" His smirk went impossibly wider when he heard her breath hitched.

His fingers started wandering up and down her right arm. "Then again, haven't I bitten you _enough_ Sakura…?"

She blushed.

Sasuke's smoldering eyes became hooded. "But I don't mind..."

Sakura flushed, she could _feel _her cheeks' temperature rising by the second.

But their innuendo got interrupted when two murmurs erupted.

The couple whipped their heads in their children's direction and a reminder dawned on them.

Though it was slightly twisted and as cliché as it sounds, it was their happy ending because they had a boy…

-

-

And a girl.

**x**

**x**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I killed it. MUST YOU MOCK ME?  
But I'm a firm believer that if I have a son one day, I'll name him Pinocchio. For sure.  
Kerry (kerrance.) said she felt bad for my son.  
I wonder why?

! _**K**_at.


End file.
